It has been such a very long time since I wrote.  Life has truly gotten in the way of doing what I want to do. 
In spite of the date, spring is still just around the corner.  We are allowed a glimpse every now and then, but the grass is just now showing some green and only a few plants have been brave enough to start the journey toward the summer sun
I planted some bulbs by my front walk last fall and I am anxious to see if any of them are brave enough to pop up in the next couple of weeks.  Some of the flowering bushes around me do have buds and yes, there are signs of life every where

In the mean time I have taken a full time job and I am working and commuting and working and commuting and wishing there was a better answer to getting the bills paid and putting money in savings.  The job is less than ideal: doing in bound calls for a company that I think has some questionable business practices... but it is paying some bills and allowing me to put some money in savings for the summer to come

And summer is coming.  I am truly again counting the days, wishing for warmth and more sunshine and long walks. 
I'm even thinking about concerts on the square and festivals and Dane Dances.  I just can't wait!

Only Thirty One Days

.....until spring.  It seems like this has been such a difficult winter.  We have had so many storms, so much snow, so much ice, below zero days that closed schools and broke pipes, but nonetheless, spring is on the way.
I am finishing putting away the snowflakes that I use to decorate the house in January, and honestly I am so ready to put away the hearts and red for February.  March green is not something that I do at all, so I am looking forward to bringing in some butterflies and jewel colors before the spring hits.
Most of my decorations are still in storage, something I hope to remedy this summer when I get to go back to Madison for a while.
Right now I am back into my decluttering mode, getting things listed for sale and accessing the things that I really do want to keep.
Selena and I have been trying to go through my amazing piles of pictures, dividing them into piles.  I've put away several for each of my kids, adding some to a new photo album that I have, and actually throwing away some that I have no idea why we kept...
I'm working harder on organization, putting everything together with like items and adding to the great garage sale pile.  I hope that warmth comes early this year so that I can get some garage sales in before I want to travel this summer.
The dark of winter has always been study time for me, and I feel like I have missed most of my study time already.  Back to classes today, listening to pod casts on starting a business, creating the cash flow statement, building a website that google likes.  It is only one of the classes that I want to do, but I think that it is the most important right now.

SPRING IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER!

i think that many times when we are facing an uncertain future, we long so completely for the past.  change is always difficult and when the change is something that we didn't expect it to be, we look for another change.  standing on the edge, looking out over the valley, all i want to do is turn around and go back down the path that i just came from, back to a time of safety, something that i know instead of the unknown.
right now all i want is to get one of those little duplexes in sun prairie and be able to take care of becca's kids, hugging them all the time and playing with them.
when i left madison, we all thought that this would be better for my health, that being able to set my own schedule and routine, i would get stronger and get well.  i am still waiting for that to happen, there have been so few changes in how i feel.  i still lose my energy if i over do.  i still get headaches that put me in bed all day.  i think the winter has harder on me than usual, and the need for change and spring and something to look forward to is strong right now

On With the Great Move

We have started moving the sewing room, creating a total disaster of things that have no home, but we did effectively empty what will be Selena's room.   The cleaning up is done, the painting almost done and we are ready to clean the carpet and move in the furniture.  Selena is almost as much of a fairy as i am, so the decorating will be easy.  I can't wait.  Purple in place.  I hope to find the money to buy her a new quilt, but for now my stars and moons will have to do.

Letting my hand heal has been really hard on me, but good for my reading.  I just finished "Mrs Lincoln's Dressmaker", and now I want to learn more about the civil war and fashion history.  Terms that I have never heard before, and discussion of a quilt that I am just crazy to find a picture of.

In the mean time I am going back to my Christie.  Learning a little bit about the cold war in Destination Unknown.  I've also ordered the second book in the Aunt Dimity series, and because it is a quick read, I am hoping for over the next week end....

I found a copy of one of my favorite cook books, to send to Megan.  She and I are working our way through several books together, and cooking together is going to be so much fun.

I've really enjoyed taking this week off to just work on the working on Selena's room and getting my mind calmed and ready to face some tough decisions.  Life tends to throw changes in every time I get too comfortable.  Change is what is happening, that is for sure.

Time for a bit of reinvention

Books for the New Year

I didn't quite make my reading goal for last year, and I certainly plan on changing that this year.  It has been a few years since I set the goal of reading the mysteries that i collect in copyright order by author.  I am still on Christie, which is inexcusably lazy.   Christie is one of  my favorite authors and I do own almost the whole collection  of her books.
I do have several books started, including two self help, two writing books, three fiction and two non fiction.  Perhaps, like my sewing projects, I should hone this down to one or two at a time.... but I seem to be too scattered lately to do that.

I have decided to revisit the book "Creative Journal Writing" and am enjoy the quotes in each chapter as well as the hints on writing.  Maybe I'll get all the way through the book this time.  I'd really like to do that.  I am also working through "A Whole New You", and have been for quite a while.  I guess I got bored with it, or just don't see the process as one that works for me.
Add to this "52 Small Changes", I think I have the "work on yourself" corner covered quite well.

I am actively looking for a book group, both on line and in real.  Megan and I are reading a couple of books together, but we don't have the time for discussions that we'd like to have.

After watching Downton Abby I became interested in the history, and I found "The Four Queens" last summer.  I've just about finished this one, I'm thinking I need to go back further in history to understand how people lived.

I've hurt my right hand again and I'm not able to knit or crochet right now, so maybe reading will win out and I'll get more done in the first part of the year.

Almost Done

I have been working on catching up with the year, and I think that for the second year in a row, the year has caught up with me.

I think I will just retain last year's to-do list and work my way down it in the usual fashion, adding a few projects for the very few that I was able to get done.  I still have so many large projects.

It is my second Christmas away from my family, and I am not sure I will ever get used to that feeling.  My Christmas Eve sewing really must be moved up to well before Thanksgiving so that things can be mailed on time.  Christmas shopping must be started earlier and finished much earlier, I still have so much to do and it is almost the Eve now.

I think that I am glad not to have to do so much cooking, but I do miss the morning madness that is Christmas morning in a large family.  It is something that just can not be duplicated.

And so with a few packages under the tree and a few to be wrapped for Christmas Day, a dinner planned and the new year routine settled in the books, I guess I am as ready as I can be, right?

I don't like walking around this old and empty house alone



So hold my hand, I'll walk with you my dear 


 The stairs creak as I sleep,
It's keeping me awake.
It's the house telling you to close your eyes 


Some days I can't even dress myself


It's killing me to see you this way. 

'Cause though the truth may vary 
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore. 

Hey! Hey! Hey! 
There's an old voice in my head
that's holding me back


Well tell her that I miss our little talks. 

Soon it will all be over, buried with out past


We used to play outside when we were young 
and full of life and full of love. 

Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right


Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear. 

'Cause though the truth may vary 
This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore 

Hey! 
Don't listen to a word I say 
Hey! 
The screams all sound the same

Hey! 

Though the truth may vary 
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore 

You're gone, gone, gone away, 
I watched you disappear. 
All that's left is a ghost of you. 
Now we're torn, torn, torn apart, 
there's nothing we can do, 
Just let me go, we'll meet again soon. 

Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around 
I'll see you when I fall asleep. 
Hey!
Don't listen to a word I say 
Hey! 
The screams all sound the same. 
Hey! 

Though the truth may vary 
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore 

Don't listen to a word I say 
Hey! 
The screams all sound the same. 
Hey! 

Though the truth may vary 
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore
Though the truth may vary 
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore
Though the truth may vary 
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/little_talks_lyrics_of_monsters_and_men.html
All about Of Monsters+And+Men: http://www.musictory.com/music/Of+Monsters+And+Men