Friday, May 31, 2013

Archetypes

Every now and then I run across a quiz that, if you answer the questions correctly, will tell you what you are born to do with your life.  Just as often as not, I am pinned as a "caregiver" and I will admit that the planner in me really enjoys this type of vocation.
I have done this recently, and again, caregiver won out, even when I tried to sway the survey just slightly.  It is in times like this, when someone close to me has broken trust so deeply, that I remember why I did not pursue this career choice any more than I have.  It is extremely difficult to be a caring person who does not trust easily any more, but questions motives and guards against further heart ache. 
I have held out my hand when others have not, and this time I am left with a cut that is beyond deep.  I've thought about little else since I learned the truth and examined my words and actions toward this person, along with some of the other people in my life.  I am, of course, not without fault.  And I recognized that I was not the wronged person, but still trust was broken to a point that now it can not be repaired without that person making some life changes.
And she is capable of doing just that.  It will have to be without my help.  I was able to reach out to her several times and ignored each of those times. 
It's been a rough week of losses, illnesses and miscommunication.  I hope this all changes soon. 

Tonight I close only with blessings, both light and dark, to all involved

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