As Days Go….

The day yesterday was not all bad. I woke up hours before I wanted to be up, but that gave me extra time to rest before I got dressed and to make sure I had a breathing treatment and food. I very much need to learn self care. To an extreme level.

The funeral was not uncomfortable either. I think most of the family, although sad at the loss, was ready to let the pain go. A strange sort of relief, prayed for endings that you really don’t want.

We are not meant to live forever, and so, somehow, an end must come.

Most everyone was conversational and the visitation went well. Becca was gracious enough to leave right after the service to get me home. I was able to rest before a shopping trip this evening, but I do think that was my downfall, two outings in one day was much too much and now I am beyond exhausted and sad.

During the visitation, as is usual these days, there was a slide show of pictures from the life and lives touch by this man. It was interesting to see my children so young, interacting with others around them, and left me feeling reflecting on an easier time. We didn’t think it was easier when it was happening, but it certainly was easier then than what we are going through now.

Decisions still have to be made as to the future path I am to take. I would rather just sit and let the future happen, but I do know that it isn’t right to do so, and taking an active role in ones own life is the only way to insure that it goes in the direction that you desire.

Be careful with your words. It seems that you never know who is listening, or reading, what it is that you say. When you wrong someone, apologize from the heart but do not expect forgiveness to happen. That is a gift that is not always able to be offered. Some words change relationships forever.

I've been reading 7 Habits.... and one of the things that he says really hits home with me lately. Something about energy banks, although that is not how the author phrased it, life is a two way street. And if you lie to me, or even lie by omission, simply not telling me the truth about what has happened in your life, my energy for you, and my relationship with you, has changed. Sometimes this changed cannot be reversed. So before you cut someone out of a part of your life, perhaps you should make sure that you want them cut out of all of your life. Before you say words that can not be taken back, be sure that you mean what you are about to say, in all of its context. Write it out and re read it later. Practice in front of a mirror. Think about what the other person is going to hear, and how that is going to affect your relationship with that person. Listen more than you talk. This is more important than most of us think.