....is just hard work. I have so many things that I would like to be doing, but there is little I can do but sit and knit or work on my classes. It seems that because my oxygen level was so low, I am going to have some trouble thinking for quite a while, and so while I am catching up on the classes I missed while I was at my sister's house, the work is harder than it had been and sometimes I am reading a sentence several times before it makes any sense at all. I got two classes finished last night, current to this point, but on the third one I had to stop with only a few more questions to answer.
Writing is getting easier and so I know that I am doing better. I am able to think some things through and make some plans.
As I was falling asleep last night, I realized that for the first time in many years I don't Hate my life. Now, that is not to say that this is the life that I would have picked for myself, but all the same, it has settled down into a routine that is comfortable. I have plans for the future and things are going alone rather nicely.
I'd like to get back to some chores today. It is time to get some of the Christmas out and start some rearranging to make the best use of my space, such as it is. I am wondering right now how much I can do without pushing myself, and how much will have to wait for another day.
All of the people of your life have been called to you for a reason. What that reason is, is sometimes not clear until much time has passed. I have decided how it is that I will be treated, and how I will treat others. Making those changes has been heartbreaking and the changes are forever ongoing, but this is the step that my heart tells me I must take. Perhaps in the future I can take a different step and have the things in my life that I thought I wanted to begin with.
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