Preparing to be homeless

The future is so uncertain.  The house sold and so I'll have some money to live on, but I have no place to live.  I think most of the homeless have no money, or not enough money.  That isn't really my problem as much as my history and my present.  No one is willing to take a chance on my future

And so I prepare to be homeless. 

Step One: This is something I started a long time ago, and redo every few weeks, in rounds.  Open every drawer, every bin, every shelf.  Go through each room, one at a time, and access what is in the drawer, etc.  Pick it up and actually look at it.  Is this worth keeping.  Will it survive being stored.  Can it handle being in winter storage or summer heat storage?

Step Two: really must go along with step one, or step one is not going to do you any good.  Decide if what you are getting rid of is worth money, usable, or really just trash.  Put any item you are not keeping in the right box as soon as you make that decision or you'll have piles to go through again.  Once a decision has been made, stick with it and carry through.  Remember that Freecycle.org is your friend.  Use it.  You'll feel better when you know that someone needs what you don't need.

Step Three:  think about the storage items and get a storage locker as soon as you can.  Moving things out of the house will clear your head.  Get a notebook just for the move, and make very careful notes about each box you move out of the house into storage.  What is in the box as well as where it is in storage.  If you have multiple places to store things, use a highlighter to mark your lines or at least the number of the box.  Using a different color for each of your different places will make is easy to see at a glance where you'll find your cook books or your summer clothes.
Plastic is your friend.  Line your cardboard boxes before you put books in.  Even one layer of defense against water is better than nothing.  Use bins that you find on sale.  Plan each box
Separate the items that you are going to need with you no matter where you end up.  Medication, clothes, important papers, a few nice things.  Jewelry and make up.  Minimums.  Notebooks and nice pens. 

Step Four:  Look at your furniture.  Is there a real reason you are keeping this piece.  You won't have room for everything and furniture doesn't store well for very long.  Make wise decisions.  Mattresses can be replaced.  Once they get wet and start to mold, everything in your storage that is near them will be ruined.  Knowing that when you finally are allowed to live in your own place again, you can buy used furniture or find great deals when the big stores do their sales.  Keep only the furniture that is truly irreplaceable.  Like the things that my daddy made for me.

Step Five:  Think about the people that have been part of your life for the past few years, or forever.... is there something in your house that they would like to have?  It will be easier to gift these items than to just give them to a stranger.  Knowing that your new life will be much different, you need to look at each item with the future in mind. 

Step Six:  Seeing as you don't know when you will again live in your own home, be it an apartment, room or house, you need to keep things close by that you need soon, and move the less important items further back in your storage unit.   If you don't have a kitchen, don't pack the kitchen boxes in front.  Try to separate the unit into "rooms".  I color coded each box with different color tapes and so I can see at a glance if it is a bedroom box or a kitchen box.

Step Seven:  Find a way to start making money, new money, before your options run out.  Pawn shops and Antique stores are a great idea.  List everything that you can mail on Ebay.  Even a little bit is better than nothing at all.  Do it fast.  Keep it moving.  Don't give in to the depression.  This is just a stage

Step Eight:  This might be obvious, but it often gets missed.... go through the freezer and fridge carefully.  Use it up, empty and unplug it as soon as you can, so you can get it cleaned and out of your house.  Go through the pantry.  Stop buying things that are perishable about two weeks before closing up the house.  You may not get a room with a kitchen privilege and you will not have very much space.  Use it up or do without.  No more shopping two weeks before closing

Step Nine: It might be time to get a POBox if you are only a couple of weeks from your deadline with no hope in sight.  You'll need a forwarding address of some sort.  They rent for 6 months at a time in most cities.

Step Ten:  We are now two weeks or less from our deadline.  Call your utilities and insurance companies.  Let people know what is going on.  Cut your expenses as soon as you can comfortably do it.  Don't add to the suffering, but don't waste money.  You are in this position for a reason.  Think about what is next.  Sign the papers at closing and walk away with your head held high.  You can do this

Making decisions on how to move forward is much more like listening to the fates and understand what they have in store for you.  You'll need to pull on all of your strengths now.  Be humble enough to ask for help.  You are going to have to get things done quickly the last two weeks and you can't afford to be divided in your attentions.  Done is done.  After you lock the door for the last time you can decide what tomorrow is, but trying to do so before that is going to be very difficult.  Focus and live life fully engaged. 

the doors are closed and the walls are white. 
someone called but I  don't wanna talk tonight. 
stay away, I wanna oh I wanna stay away. 
I'm gonna be all right, all right. 
within the arms of slumber, gonna leave it all behind
comatose gone under, like all the other times

with blood and disdain I'll ignore this pain
when someone falls your supposed to get up again
I try to oblige but I can't tonight,
I'm gonna be all right, all right

within the arms of slumber
I'm gonna leave it all behind
comatose gone under like all the other times
comfort of my dreams I resign myself to you
dream as I might how I'm sleeping when I'm blue
such a pleasure when I feel myself go under
stay away stay away while I'm in the arms of slumber
leaving it all behind

the magic of sweet Morpheus
doing it once again
save me from my sadness
save me from my pain
protect me from depression
protect me one more night and I'll be all right
all right
within the arms of slumber, leaving it all behind
comatose gone under like all the other times
comfort of my dreams I resign myself to you
dream as I might how I'm sleeping when I'm blue
such a pleasure when I feel my self go under
stay away, stay away when I'm in the arms of slumber

within the arms of slumber, leaving it all behind
comatose gone under like all the other times
comfort of my dreams I resign myself to you
dream as I might how I'm sleeping when I'm blue
such a pleasure when I feel my self go under
stay away, stay away when I'm in the arms of slumber
leaving it all behind

stay away, stay away oh stay away,  stay away, oh stay away

Today is  a down day.  I've been doing to much and gotten into pain over load again, but I am not surprised.  There is, of course, so very much to do.  It is disappointing, but there it is.

The weather is certainly not co operating with my need to be outside.   It is much too cold and wintery for the time of year, and I am so anxious for spring.   I need my rituals back, to welcome the change of season and the turning of the wheel.

Soon the wheel will turn, actually in just a few days.  And just after that changes toward summer and beginnings happens.  I love the spring births and watching the  new little ones getting their legs under them.

Something I plan to be doing at the same time.   Getting my legs under me

gotta love that guitar

Give me one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around
Give me one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around
said I don't want to leave you lonely, you got to make me change my mind

baby I got your number oh and I know that you got mine
you know that I called you, I called too many times
you can call me baby, you can call me any time.  you got to call me

Give me one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around
             you can see me turning
Give me one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around
              you can see me turning
said I don't want to leave you lonely, you got to make me change my mind

I don't want no one to squeeze me, they might take away my life
I don't want no one so squeeze me, they might take away my life
I just want someone to hold me, oh and rock me through the night

this youthful heart can love you yes, and give you what you need
I said this youthful heart can love you oh and give you what you need
but I'm too old to go chasing you around, wasting my precious energy

Give me one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around
             you can see me turning
Give me one reason to stay here, oh I'll turn right back around
              you can see me turning
said I don't want to leave you lonely, you got to make me change my mind
baby just give me one reason.  just one reason why.
 baby just give me one reason, oh just one reason why I should stay
I told you that I love you and there ain't no more to say

If what you wish for is something you are not getting, perhaps you should rephrase your wish

And honestly take yourself out of the equation

Because you are not winning.  and in not winning you not only lose, but so does every one else

I had totally forgot that it was only Monday.  It was one of the worst Mondays, and there have been some bad ones lately.  I am so tired of only bad news.

I really have nothing to write about.  I have no good news, nothing new going on, no need to reach out to any one right now, nothing interesting to say and so I sit quiet and do my work and play with the children.

More sorting.  More cleaning.  Some day it will all be done.  Not quiet yet, but soon

No tv worth watching.  A hot bath and an early bed.  That would be best for me. 

Life at Kansa's house.   I wonder where that is....