Every now and then I run across a quiz that, if you answer the questions correctly, will tell you what you are born to do with your life. Just as often as not, I am pinned as a "caregiver" and I will admit that the planner in me really enjoys this type of vocation.
I have done this recently, and again, caregiver won out, even when I tried to sway the survey just slightly. It is in times like this, when someone close to me has broken trust so deeply, that I remember why I did not pursue this career choice any more than I have. It is extremely difficult to be a caring person who does not trust easily any more, but questions motives and guards against further heart ache.
I have held out my hand when others have not, and this time I am left with a cut that is beyond deep. I've thought about little else since I learned the truth and examined my words and actions toward this person, along with some of the other people in my life. I am, of course, not without fault. And I recognized that I was not the wronged person, but still trust was broken to a point that now it can not be repaired without that person making some life changes.
And she is capable of doing just that. It will have to be without my help. I was able to reach out to her several times and ignored each of those times.
It's been a rough week of losses, illnesses and miscommunication. I hope this all changes soon.
Tonight I close only with blessings, both light and dark, to all involved
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Day Six
Fibro crisis is the first thing that we are taught to deal with and more important, how to avoid. I certainly didn't avoid this one. This you hit me head on and is taking everything that I have. Over load of symptoms. The last couple were just "mini crisis", and were over in just a couple of days. This time, I've been down for six days so far, with very little improvement. I am so sad.
I know one of the triggers is emotional upset, and with the homesick feelings on top of the deaths, it has been a hard week. One of my old students broke trust, which is just amazing to me. I think we need to hold ourselves to a higher standard, and this one is hard on me. My daughter is ill and I can't get to, the kids are growing up without me and I love springtime in Madison. I am very lucky to live in a town that plants so many flowers because every where I turn is something else getting ready to bloom and looking just wonderful.
Some days are easier than others, and I am slowly building back into a working schedule, but the rest of the routine has not at all begun to happen. I got about 4 hours of work in today, split between knitting and two sewing projects.
Again, the week is going slowly, but I am getting through most of the days with only one nap. This is an improvement from the week end when I was only able to be up for two hours at a time. The storm last night kept me awake for a while, and getting up early took a toll of sorts, so I didn't feel too bad about napping today, but three hours was much longer than I thought I would sleep.
The list, therefore, is not changing at all, or being added to. We are hoping to be able to do the garage sale this week end, I am anxious to see how my energy holds under pressure to get things done. Just hoping for a better day tomorrow.
FOCUS BALANCE ENGAGE COMPLETE FLOW
I know one of the triggers is emotional upset, and with the homesick feelings on top of the deaths, it has been a hard week. One of my old students broke trust, which is just amazing to me. I think we need to hold ourselves to a higher standard, and this one is hard on me. My daughter is ill and I can't get to, the kids are growing up without me and I love springtime in Madison. I am very lucky to live in a town that plants so many flowers because every where I turn is something else getting ready to bloom and looking just wonderful.
Some days are easier than others, and I am slowly building back into a working schedule, but the rest of the routine has not at all begun to happen. I got about 4 hours of work in today, split between knitting and two sewing projects.
Again, the week is going slowly, but I am getting through most of the days with only one nap. This is an improvement from the week end when I was only able to be up for two hours at a time. The storm last night kept me awake for a while, and getting up early took a toll of sorts, so I didn't feel too bad about napping today, but three hours was much longer than I thought I would sleep.
The list, therefore, is not changing at all, or being added to. We are hoping to be able to do the garage sale this week end, I am anxious to see how my energy holds under pressure to get things done. Just hoping for a better day tomorrow.
FOCUS BALANCE ENGAGE COMPLETE FLOW
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Not Quite What I Had In Mind
This day did not turn out quite how I had planned. I woke up with pain over load and brain fog, and I knew this day was not going to work in my favor. Lets see what I did get done of list I made last night....
no yoga
no cleaning
I did finish ripping the quilt, but it didn't take me an hour. I was glad to get the backing and pieced top in the dryer to get some of the lose threads off it.
I was able to get two hours of the project of the day, which for today meant three table runners are ready for quilting.
I didn't make it to pick up my box
I didn't get any knitting done
I didn't work on the basement
I didn't switch projects
I did fix a full dinner, but that is all I am going to be able to do tonight. I feel lucky that I was able to work for three hours, but tonight my eyes are aching and my heart is heavy with grief. I am just going to give into that for a while. Tomorrow will start early with a meeting in the morning, so the chance of a routine for tomorrow is slim. I do hope to be working by noon again and we'll see how much I can get done before I have to quit and rest.
The list is not going to change until I can get this much in place. It may take a while, but I think within a couple of weeks I can start making some changes
FOCUS BALANCE ENGAGE COMPLETE FLOW
no yoga
no cleaning
I did finish ripping the quilt, but it didn't take me an hour. I was glad to get the backing and pieced top in the dryer to get some of the lose threads off it.
I was able to get two hours of the project of the day, which for today meant three table runners are ready for quilting.
I didn't make it to pick up my box
I didn't get any knitting done
I didn't work on the basement
I didn't switch projects
I did fix a full dinner, but that is all I am going to be able to do tonight. I feel lucky that I was able to work for three hours, but tonight my eyes are aching and my heart is heavy with grief. I am just going to give into that for a while. Tomorrow will start early with a meeting in the morning, so the chance of a routine for tomorrow is slim. I do hope to be working by noon again and we'll see how much I can get done before I have to quit and rest.
The list is not going to change until I can get this much in place. It may take a while, but I think within a couple of weeks I can start making some changes
FOCUS BALANCE ENGAGE COMPLETE FLOW
Long Week end
It has been a long week end in more ways than one. I missed the Memorial Day Celebrations this morning because I was just too weak to go out. It was hard to miss, with my sister speaking, but it was the best decision I could make for myself.
I was able to get some work done today. I slept late and woke groggy. I wanted to get moving but it was just impossible. I spent some time just moving around, until I could work up the energy to take my shower and try to come alive.
I was able to pot the flowers and herbs that I bought last week. I still don't know where to put one of them and there were so many that I wanted to buy, but didn't. This isn't my yard and there is little I can do to make it my own. All I am doing is taking care of someone else's plan.
And that is a lot of what this feels like... I'm just the care taker. Nothing more. This house will never feel like home. It will always be just someplace that I can stay.
My eyes are getting worse, there are fewer good days. Actually, right now I feel like there are only part of days that my eyes work well. My allergies are doing a lot of damage and the out of control fibro is taking a toll on the ability to focus. This has made most any of my work difficult.
I did get my Monday cleaning started. I ripped some more on the quilt that I have to take apart and I worked on another quilt, marking the squares to get them ready for stitching into triangles. I was able to knit last night, but tonight it was just not going to work.
And so I sit here playing computer games and staring at the tv. I feel like there is little else to do.
I was reading an article today on often missed diseases. The article claimed that fibro is easily managed following a certain protocol. I am going to try to look it up and get the information, the article claimed 97% recovery. That would be amazing.
I need to set some new goals for this week. A few minutes of cleaning every day. I think I need to turn the basement around, with the addition of a computer for my downstairs office, I think I need to more the office and storage area around. That is going to take a lot of, but if I am careful to only work a little bit at a time maybe I won't push myself into crisis again.
I need to work my yoga into my routine again. I know that is part of the equation and I know it has been missing for a long time now. I really want to get walking again. I am sure it would be good for me to be out in the sunshine once in a while.
I need to focus on my work. I should be able to put in at least 5 hours a day, but I need to work up to 8 or more. Now that the patterns and books have been organized, I need to get back to selling; listing as much as I can as quickly as I can and putting some real effort into the Etsy site building into a business.
I need to develop some patterns of my own, so that I can sell the products without worry about copyright issues. I want to go back to my idea of costuming, concentrating on fairy and steampunk. I think both will be well received if I can get enough stock and get some models for some really good pictures.
I need to take care of my body and soul. Walking will be good, meditation is important, and like my yoga, has fallen to the unpacking and organization. Reading is something that I've claimed to be too tired to do, and given my sight it may be something that is true, but I really just feel like I am making excuses to do nothing. I am really comfortable with the idea of doing nothing and I think that is the biggest thing that needs to change.
I need to go back to making my lists and crossing things off when I get things done. I need to make more effort to make something of my life.
Tomorrow's list: Yoga
Living room
Start work early-finish ripping quilt-one hour
work on table runners
CSA
Back to work up to total of four hours
Switch projects for last hour
(this is going to mean working later to make up for the time to go out to the farm)
add to the list
journal
meditation
basement
read
Keep track of time, nutrition and exercise. Look up supplements that might help. Move forward with grace.
FOCUS BALANCE ENGAGE COMPLETE FLOW
I was able to get some work done today. I slept late and woke groggy. I wanted to get moving but it was just impossible. I spent some time just moving around, until I could work up the energy to take my shower and try to come alive.
I was able to pot the flowers and herbs that I bought last week. I still don't know where to put one of them and there were so many that I wanted to buy, but didn't. This isn't my yard and there is little I can do to make it my own. All I am doing is taking care of someone else's plan.
And that is a lot of what this feels like... I'm just the care taker. Nothing more. This house will never feel like home. It will always be just someplace that I can stay.
My eyes are getting worse, there are fewer good days. Actually, right now I feel like there are only part of days that my eyes work well. My allergies are doing a lot of damage and the out of control fibro is taking a toll on the ability to focus. This has made most any of my work difficult.
I did get my Monday cleaning started. I ripped some more on the quilt that I have to take apart and I worked on another quilt, marking the squares to get them ready for stitching into triangles. I was able to knit last night, but tonight it was just not going to work.
And so I sit here playing computer games and staring at the tv. I feel like there is little else to do.
I was reading an article today on often missed diseases. The article claimed that fibro is easily managed following a certain protocol. I am going to try to look it up and get the information, the article claimed 97% recovery. That would be amazing.
I need to set some new goals for this week. A few minutes of cleaning every day. I think I need to turn the basement around, with the addition of a computer for my downstairs office, I think I need to more the office and storage area around. That is going to take a lot of, but if I am careful to only work a little bit at a time maybe I won't push myself into crisis again.
I need to work my yoga into my routine again. I know that is part of the equation and I know it has been missing for a long time now. I really want to get walking again. I am sure it would be good for me to be out in the sunshine once in a while.
I need to focus on my work. I should be able to put in at least 5 hours a day, but I need to work up to 8 or more. Now that the patterns and books have been organized, I need to get back to selling; listing as much as I can as quickly as I can and putting some real effort into the Etsy site building into a business.
I need to develop some patterns of my own, so that I can sell the products without worry about copyright issues. I want to go back to my idea of costuming, concentrating on fairy and steampunk. I think both will be well received if I can get enough stock and get some models for some really good pictures.
I need to take care of my body and soul. Walking will be good, meditation is important, and like my yoga, has fallen to the unpacking and organization. Reading is something that I've claimed to be too tired to do, and given my sight it may be something that is true, but I really just feel like I am making excuses to do nothing. I am really comfortable with the idea of doing nothing and I think that is the biggest thing that needs to change.
I need to go back to making my lists and crossing things off when I get things done. I need to make more effort to make something of my life.
Tomorrow's list: Yoga
Living room
Start work early-finish ripping quilt-one hour
work on table runners
CSA
Back to work up to total of four hours
Switch projects for last hour
(this is going to mean working later to make up for the time to go out to the farm)
add to the list
journal
meditation
basement
read
Keep track of time, nutrition and exercise. Look up supplements that might help. Move forward with grace.
FOCUS BALANCE ENGAGE COMPLETE FLOW
Sunday, May 26, 2013
We We're Thinking
When it became clear that leaving WI was getting to by my only option, we all hoped that in doing so I would change enough of my environment to regain my health and break away from what ever it is that steals my energy and stops me from making a living for myself.
My first month here I did pretty good. The unpacking took much longer than I had planned for and I lost a whole month of sewing. I did really well on the organizing and only lost a few work days, although the work was different than I had hoped. I did have a few sales and some other monies coming in, which kept me going nicely. I felt good about being able to get a few household items that I had been missing and spent time getting everything into place.
But now here we are into the third week of the second month and I've already had to take down days. There are still boxes in my kitchen, dining room/office and living room. The last of the furniture has been brought in, and so as soon as I can make some space in the basement I can get the boxes out of my bedroom. I want to look for a new bed, but replacing the living room furniture is high on my list right now.
This is the second week end in a row that I've not been able to get anything done. I've no energy at all, and have spent a good part of the week end down, going off to nap or just watching tv. No work has been done at all and today it is hard to even get out of bed for two hours in a row.
I am truly sorry that I made this decision but it seemed to be the only option left and as time has turned, I see that I was right. My heart aches for my family and my home but that is only part of my past now and creating a new future alone is much more difficult than I had imagined it would be. I just want to turn the clock back.
My two hours is more than up and I need to go lay down again. I hope this attack of symptoms does not last long. I really need to be able to work.
FOCUS BALANCE ENGAGE COMPLETE
My first month here I did pretty good. The unpacking took much longer than I had planned for and I lost a whole month of sewing. I did really well on the organizing and only lost a few work days, although the work was different than I had hoped. I did have a few sales and some other monies coming in, which kept me going nicely. I felt good about being able to get a few household items that I had been missing and spent time getting everything into place.
But now here we are into the third week of the second month and I've already had to take down days. There are still boxes in my kitchen, dining room/office and living room. The last of the furniture has been brought in, and so as soon as I can make some space in the basement I can get the boxes out of my bedroom. I want to look for a new bed, but replacing the living room furniture is high on my list right now.
This is the second week end in a row that I've not been able to get anything done. I've no energy at all, and have spent a good part of the week end down, going off to nap or just watching tv. No work has been done at all and today it is hard to even get out of bed for two hours in a row.
I am truly sorry that I made this decision but it seemed to be the only option left and as time has turned, I see that I was right. My heart aches for my family and my home but that is only part of my past now and creating a new future alone is much more difficult than I had imagined it would be. I just want to turn the clock back.
My two hours is more than up and I need to go lay down again. I hope this attack of symptoms does not last long. I really need to be able to work.
FOCUS BALANCE ENGAGE COMPLETE
Too Soon
The death of a young person is always harder for me. Two people taken from this world that touched my life in some way, the second one leaves an ache in my heart and questions on my mind.
I feel bad that there was a distance as time went by and although this is so normal, people just move apart, it still makes me sad that we are so far removed from someone that we had been very close to, that now we can't even get information.
Rest easy, your pain is gone. It is ours to carry now, until we meet again.
I feel bad that there was a distance as time went by and although this is so normal, people just move apart, it still makes me sad that we are so far removed from someone that we had been very close to, that now we can't even get information.
Rest easy, your pain is gone. It is ours to carry now, until we meet again.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
The wall of book shelves
..... is finally done. I've moved the records out of their crates and put them in order on the bottom shelf. This gave me the room I needed to move the magazines off the hidden shelf (behind the chair) to share with the records. I was so pleased to have the space
I sorted two boxes of patterns, getting the ready for garage sale or selling online and seven boxes of books. I think I have six boxes of books to go, but most of those will be sold or given away. I'm finally making some progress on the basement and I've drastically cut down on the number of boxes waiting to be moved to some place else.
I hope that the weather is good next week end and I can put my books and patterns out in the garage sale. I have just a couple other things, including two of my sewing machines, that I need to sell. It's time to get organized and make some money, that is for sure.
I sorted two boxes of patterns, getting the ready for garage sale or selling online and seven boxes of books. I think I have six boxes of books to go, but most of those will be sold or given away. I'm finally making some progress on the basement and I've drastically cut down on the number of boxes waiting to be moved to some place else.
I hope that the weather is good next week end and I can put my books and patterns out in the garage sale. I have just a couple other things, including two of my sewing machines, that I need to sell. It's time to get organized and make some money, that is for sure.
Too Cold....
.... for a garage sale week end. We totally canceled yesterday, it was cold and rainy all day. In getting ready for the garage sale, we finally got the last of my furniture out of the garage, and the boards to the floors in the basement. I got three boards in place for the art room and moved some of the boxes back that I have yet to unpack. I had given up my cobbled together sets of drawers that I had in Madison and now I am finding it hard to find the right kind of space for everything that the monster drawers had held. Moving into a house that was not emptied is sometimes interesting. Where I would like to put my art supplies is full of tools and household fix it supplies, which I guess I'll want to move. Of course the problem is in deciding where to move them and whether to move the whole cabinet, or take the things out and move just the item to another space. And what is it that I want that space to look like.
In the mean time, as we are pulling things out of the basement for the garage sale and opening up more space down there, the temperature is dropping and by the time we wanted to set up Friday morning, it was only 35 degrees. Today the sun is out, but it is still cold and wet and it just isn't a good week end to be doing this.
The storms have brought on some pretty bad head aches and sleep patterns are a mess. I'm up much too early today and will be ready for a nap when it is time to be working. Maybe if I just pretend it is a week day I can muddle through and get some work hours in. Laundry is done, I just need to dust and vacuum, and finish the bathroom and my cleaning will be done.
Funny, I had a dream where I walked into a room that had not be dusted in a very long time. I wish I could remember more of my dreams.
FOCUS BALANCE ENGAGE COMPLETE
In the mean time, as we are pulling things out of the basement for the garage sale and opening up more space down there, the temperature is dropping and by the time we wanted to set up Friday morning, it was only 35 degrees. Today the sun is out, but it is still cold and wet and it just isn't a good week end to be doing this.
The storms have brought on some pretty bad head aches and sleep patterns are a mess. I'm up much too early today and will be ready for a nap when it is time to be working. Maybe if I just pretend it is a week day I can muddle through and get some work hours in. Laundry is done, I just need to dust and vacuum, and finish the bathroom and my cleaning will be done.
Funny, I had a dream where I walked into a room that had not be dusted in a very long time. I wish I could remember more of my dreams.
FOCUS BALANCE ENGAGE COMPLETE
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
And back to work
Last week it seemed like all I could manage was the work on the book shelves. I had promised myself that I would work on the basement over the week end, but that didn't happen. I did knit all day Saturday.
On Sunday the city turned 100, and so I got out to see the parade and festivities. Both were highly underwhelming and the small town atmosphere really set in. It was sad to see this so poorly supported. On top of that, there were an amazing amount of bugs and I got bitten to the point of hives.
Monday it was back to quilters finally. I was welcomed easily and I'm glad to have a space to set up for cutting and laying out larger quilts. I got most of the fabric cut for a quilt that had been part of a swap years ago, and I started a star afghan.
Once I got home, I actually had the energy to continue working, and started another spring runner for stock. I found some great blues and yellows in my stash and cut them for a quick log cabin. I also washed the fabric for a couple of aprons for stock and put away for Christmas as well.
Frogs is sashed and ready for quilting, and Logs will be sashed the next time I sew.
In the meantime we are getting ready for the city wide garage sale this week end. It is now that I really wish I had gotten the basement done, because everything I had moved out of the way is now in the way of where we need to get things out of the basement. I am hoping that the guy that mows the lawn for me will give me a hand tomorrow and get the floor and rugs down.
My farm box is still almost all greens, and actually I'm getting over loaded with the amount of spinach and chard, I'm thinking I need to find a way to freeze some of it to use in soups this winter.
I need to be making up stock for craft fairs. My goal is to be ready for Falling Leaves. I also need to finish the three quilt orders that I have and get going on my never ending list of things to get done. It just never stops and I am not getting enough done every week. After this week, things should slow down enough that I can devote some real time to each project and get them all marked off the list by the end of the year. Now that is a huge goal to meet
Focus Balance Engage Complete
On Sunday the city turned 100, and so I got out to see the parade and festivities. Both were highly underwhelming and the small town atmosphere really set in. It was sad to see this so poorly supported. On top of that, there were an amazing amount of bugs and I got bitten to the point of hives.
Monday it was back to quilters finally. I was welcomed easily and I'm glad to have a space to set up for cutting and laying out larger quilts. I got most of the fabric cut for a quilt that had been part of a swap years ago, and I started a star afghan.
Once I got home, I actually had the energy to continue working, and started another spring runner for stock. I found some great blues and yellows in my stash and cut them for a quick log cabin. I also washed the fabric for a couple of aprons for stock and put away for Christmas as well.
Frogs is sashed and ready for quilting, and Logs will be sashed the next time I sew.
In the meantime we are getting ready for the city wide garage sale this week end. It is now that I really wish I had gotten the basement done, because everything I had moved out of the way is now in the way of where we need to get things out of the basement. I am hoping that the guy that mows the lawn for me will give me a hand tomorrow and get the floor and rugs down.
My farm box is still almost all greens, and actually I'm getting over loaded with the amount of spinach and chard, I'm thinking I need to find a way to freeze some of it to use in soups this winter.
I need to be making up stock for craft fairs. My goal is to be ready for Falling Leaves. I also need to finish the three quilt orders that I have and get going on my never ending list of things to get done. It just never stops and I am not getting enough done every week. After this week, things should slow down enough that I can devote some real time to each project and get them all marked off the list by the end of the year. Now that is a huge goal to meet
Focus Balance Engage Complete
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Rearranging Life
As I settle more into the house, I am continuing to rearrange and create more workable spaces. First was the sewing room, one more rearrange there. The shelves looked funny after I broke the tall one in half, and so instead on being in the corner, I moved the two shelves around. Taking everything off and moving it to fit just a little bit better. Then I moved the two machines back to back and put the large bins in between them, opening up some of the lost floor space.
Folding fabric and putting more of the supplies away, the total time for that day was over 4 hours.
Tuesday I slept in and then cleaned the kitchen. I was so tired from doing too much, and no motivation left to do anything else. I picked up the farm box and then had Nachos at my sister's house for the NCIS season finales. It was a good night, nice to get out a little bit.
Bob brought me another book shelf, so it was time to get busy and unpack the last of the boxes in the living room and kitchen. The blue shelf looks great, I was able to leave some spaces for the painting to show through. It is a great wall to show off some of Selena's wall, and I think it's fun to see the design poking out just a bit here and there. It is keeping me from putting too many books on the shelf. I'll be glad when I have a set of shelves that I can use to show off the whole design.
I did end up moving the books from one bookcase to the other and back again, trying to find some way of keeping the subjects together, until I as too tired to work any more. Two naps and a full night sleep has not helped and I need to be careful of my energy today. A migraine is keeping me down. I'll be glad to break down boxes and put my mystery books in order. I think that will be a big enough job. Right now I feel like that is more than I can do.
Garage sale is next week end. We need to spend the next week marking and getting things ready to go. I really need to be tending to my business and sewing, but everything else seems to be getting in the way. Maybe I'll be able to sell some things next week at least that will make up for the lack of work.
I ordered some supplies and I think I've just about decided about a direction to move into for craft fairs in the area. I need something that no one else is doing and create a brand for myself. I need to get my name out there and start making some serious money.
Focus. Balance. Engage. Complete
Folding fabric and putting more of the supplies away, the total time for that day was over 4 hours.
Tuesday I slept in and then cleaned the kitchen. I was so tired from doing too much, and no motivation left to do anything else. I picked up the farm box and then had Nachos at my sister's house for the NCIS season finales. It was a good night, nice to get out a little bit.
Bob brought me another book shelf, so it was time to get busy and unpack the last of the boxes in the living room and kitchen. The blue shelf looks great, I was able to leave some spaces for the painting to show through. It is a great wall to show off some of Selena's wall, and I think it's fun to see the design poking out just a bit here and there. It is keeping me from putting too many books on the shelf. I'll be glad when I have a set of shelves that I can use to show off the whole design.
I did end up moving the books from one bookcase to the other and back again, trying to find some way of keeping the subjects together, until I as too tired to work any more. Two naps and a full night sleep has not helped and I need to be careful of my energy today. A migraine is keeping me down. I'll be glad to break down boxes and put my mystery books in order. I think that will be a big enough job. Right now I feel like that is more than I can do.
Garage sale is next week end. We need to spend the next week marking and getting things ready to go. I really need to be tending to my business and sewing, but everything else seems to be getting in the way. Maybe I'll be able to sell some things next week at least that will make up for the lack of work.
I ordered some supplies and I think I've just about decided about a direction to move into for craft fairs in the area. I need something that no one else is doing and create a brand for myself. I need to get my name out there and start making some serious money.
Focus. Balance. Engage. Complete
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Coldplay. Clocks
the lights go out and I can't be saved
tides I tried to swim against
have brought me down upon my knees
oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing
come out of the things unsaid
shoot an apple off my head and a
trouble that can't be named
a tiger's waiting to be tamed, singing
you are, you are
confusion that never stops
closing walls and the ticking clocks gonna
come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know, singing
come out upon my seas
cursed missed opportunities am I
part of the cure
or am I part of the disease, singing
you are, you are
you are, you are
you are, you are
and nothing else compares
and nothing else compares
and nothing else compares
home, home, where I wanted to go
home, home, where I wanted to go
home, home, where I wanted to go (you are)
home, home, where I wanted to go (you are)
tides I tried to swim against
have brought me down upon my knees
oh I beg, I beg and plead, singing
come out of the things unsaid
shoot an apple off my head and a
trouble that can't be named
a tiger's waiting to be tamed, singing
you are, you are
confusion that never stops
closing walls and the ticking clocks gonna
come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know, singing
come out upon my seas
cursed missed opportunities am I
part of the cure
or am I part of the disease, singing
you are, you are
you are, you are
you are, you are
and nothing else compares
and nothing else compares
and nothing else compares
home, home, where I wanted to go
home, home, where I wanted to go
home, home, where I wanted to go (you are)
home, home, where I wanted to go (you are)
One Whole Month
I got so much work done on Sunday and it felt so good to get going. I wanted to keep the momtenum going, and I realized that I had to rearrange my sewing room. Having the machines face the window gave me so much room and looked really pretty, but the light in my eyes, even in the afternoon, made sewing difficult. This needs to be able function and not form. Too bad.
So the amazing pile of bins needed to be moved downstairs to make room for a book shelf. I was sad about that because it was so much work and I liked having them in the sewing room, ready for each month, but I need the space now.
Next came moving the book shelf. I really hate cheap furniture. Particle board cheap book shelves, they seem to seldom go together right. This one had the outside uprights in two pieces and so the one place that I had to push on the shelf, instead of pull or carry, the shelf folded on itself and broke. It landed on top of my poor teddy bear and I landed on top of it. Bruised, scraped and angry, I assessed the damage and as it turns out, a short book shelf is going to have to work for now. Certainly not what I wanted, but it is what I was left with. At least all of the books fit, giving me room for projects and tools closer to the sewing machine.
Tuesday we started painting the tall book shelf and rearranging the garage. Sanding off the old varnish really was the hardest part, but it took so long to get done. Wednesday we started on the blue. It looks great, a little lighter than I thought it would be, but really close to what was on my wall in Madison. Today I finished the blue and tomorrow if there is time I'll begin tracing the pattern and getting it set for painting. I am so excited to see how it looks in the living room. Everything in here is brown and so I think the blue and white is really going to look nice.
The weather has really warmed up. I was able to sit outside and crochet when I was done with my painting. I've got one of the flower beds uncovered and cleaned up, and I hope that I can keep going. Hearing about the cold and snow in other parts of the country, I have to hope that it doesn't hit here too badly and kill off the plants.
All of the daffodils are about to finish and there are several flowers that were already planted that I know nothing about. I am so glad to see color, I don't really care what it is.
I was able to get into a CSA here and I get to pick up my first box on Tuesday. That is going to be so nice, I don't have to buy very much food at all, just live off the vegetables that I get every week and get some put away for winter. It'll be so much easier every month when I know that I've already got my food paid for.
One last week of putting the house in place, I got the boards for the floor in the basement and I can finish two of the rooms this week, and then I have got to hit the streets looking for work and getting back to business. I made some good sales the last two weeks but that is not going to last if I don't keep at it and get things done right.
Ebay was good to me this week. I can use the profit to buy the silk scarves that I want to dye. I need to do something here that no one else is doing and I love dying silk. It'll be a great way to kick off my business.
Book work is waiting. I can close April and push hard in May. New places and new ideas. My future is waiting
So the amazing pile of bins needed to be moved downstairs to make room for a book shelf. I was sad about that because it was so much work and I liked having them in the sewing room, ready for each month, but I need the space now.
Next came moving the book shelf. I really hate cheap furniture. Particle board cheap book shelves, they seem to seldom go together right. This one had the outside uprights in two pieces and so the one place that I had to push on the shelf, instead of pull or carry, the shelf folded on itself and broke. It landed on top of my poor teddy bear and I landed on top of it. Bruised, scraped and angry, I assessed the damage and as it turns out, a short book shelf is going to have to work for now. Certainly not what I wanted, but it is what I was left with. At least all of the books fit, giving me room for projects and tools closer to the sewing machine.
Tuesday we started painting the tall book shelf and rearranging the garage. Sanding off the old varnish really was the hardest part, but it took so long to get done. Wednesday we started on the blue. It looks great, a little lighter than I thought it would be, but really close to what was on my wall in Madison. Today I finished the blue and tomorrow if there is time I'll begin tracing the pattern and getting it set for painting. I am so excited to see how it looks in the living room. Everything in here is brown and so I think the blue and white is really going to look nice.
The weather has really warmed up. I was able to sit outside and crochet when I was done with my painting. I've got one of the flower beds uncovered and cleaned up, and I hope that I can keep going. Hearing about the cold and snow in other parts of the country, I have to hope that it doesn't hit here too badly and kill off the plants.
All of the daffodils are about to finish and there are several flowers that were already planted that I know nothing about. I am so glad to see color, I don't really care what it is.
I was able to get into a CSA here and I get to pick up my first box on Tuesday. That is going to be so nice, I don't have to buy very much food at all, just live off the vegetables that I get every week and get some put away for winter. It'll be so much easier every month when I know that I've already got my food paid for.
One last week of putting the house in place, I got the boards for the floor in the basement and I can finish two of the rooms this week, and then I have got to hit the streets looking for work and getting back to business. I made some good sales the last two weeks but that is not going to last if I don't keep at it and get things done right.
Ebay was good to me this week. I can use the profit to buy the silk scarves that I want to dye. I need to do something here that no one else is doing and I love dying silk. It'll be a great way to kick off my business.
Book work is waiting. I can close April and push hard in May. New places and new ideas. My future is waiting
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