Maple Fest

I guess the advantage of living in small town area is the fun festivals.  There are tons, everyone wants something to do and there seems to be a fair or festival almost every week end.  This week end was the Maple Fest in Franklinville.  It couldn't have been a better day for it, the  first real day of warmth and sunshine.  I actually got a bit of sun burn....
We got there just in time to see the parade... led by the military and Shriners.  I loved watched all the little league teams in their shirts and the girl and boy scouts.  The Maple Princess and her court could have been highlighted better, but it was fun.  Watching the Shriners in their mini cars showing off the tricks, driving in and out of a figure 8 and a couple other fancy moves. 
We walked through all the vendor booths and checked out the competition, thinking this might be a venue where I could make some money and have fun doing it. 
After a nice nap, we headed to Home Depot and Wal-Mart, before enjoying a nice dinner out.  I was able to buy two lamps that I want for the house, and get some ideas for some shelving units.   I would like to buy some outdoor furniture, but I'm afraid that is going to have to wait until I get some sales behind me. 

Today I need to work on breaking down the boxes that I've sent to the basement this week and think about moving the storage around because it isn't going to function well the way it is right now.  I'm pretty sure that is more than an all day job, and with the weather finally warming up, I'm going to be wanting to spend more time outside, so I need to finish the basement quickly and allow myself time to start on planning the yards and getting things done outside.
I think the office area is as far as I can get it right now until I can move it to the location it is going to stay in, so I need to get more of the art room finished and get more of those boxes empty. 
So today I'm setting the timer for an hour... work an hour, rest an hour.  Thank heaven for Netflix

Three Weeks

The mongo boxes are finally beginning to go away.  I emptied two more today, instead of the sewing that I wanted to do.  I had planned on working on a wall hanging, but then I hit upon a plan to get more of my supplies sorted and organized.  I thought it would take just a few minutes, half an hour or so, but then I really got into the sorting and organizing and I spent a good part of the afternoon getting everything in a place. 

Then I thought I would sit and crochet the rest of the afternoon, but instead I ended up unpacking and sorting more things, sending the towels and blankets downstairs to be stored and setting up the rest of the art bins to move down stairs.  The living room looks better, but now I need to work on the other rooms again. 

Instead of putting off until April as I had planned, I got back to my Etsy and Ebay as well.  I need to make sure that I know where everything is that I have listed, and so I did a physical inventory and then brought both listings up to date.  I got several things listed on Ebay and I'm working on creating a better space for storing the listed books and such so that I know where they are all the time.  All my soft goods are taken care of, but it's harder with putting books in the bins because of how heavy they get.

Today I started a new yoga routine and went for a walk this afternoon.  My muscles always hurt and I think that I need to be working out more, to work the stiffness out from sitting all the time.  I wish I had more tolerance for the weather, but I really don't like being outside and uncomfortable.  I only made a short walk because it was colder out than I thought it would be. 

Too much sitting, and too much lifting and sorting.  I would love to wake up pain free one day, or even turn over in the middle of the night and not cringe from the pain.  It is with me every moment of every day, and colors every activity I engage in. 
Still my goal is to live this life fully engaged, finishing all that I have started. 

step out the front door like a ghost
into the fog where no one notices
the contrast of white on white

Sunday Is Art Day

I've been here for two weeks now, and I'm almost all unpacked.  I got one of the offices done yesterday, but the other one is still in boxes. 

Yesterday we rehung the light in the dining room to center over the table, making room for an office at the far end of the room.  A roll top desk and a four drawer file cabinet, so not my style, all put together.  Organized and ready for some major financial work.  It will be nice to have a good place to work on my budget, as well as my classes, but at the same time I'd rather just work on the couch and be comfortable.

I am still grieving the missing things from the sewing room.  Most of them just can not be replaced and some of them were not mine and so the anger or others has added to my heart ache.  There is nothing that I can do and I have to figure out how to move on and get over it.  Three months worth of projects and hopes are gone, and I need to just cross them off my list and get on with the next set of things to do.  I really need the bins that I set up for these months to start getting emptied and move forward.  Easy words to say.

Today I have to work on the basement.  More or less whether I want to or not.  I need to try to put the desk together and work on the art room.  And I need to do art.  Something that feeds my soul.  My soul truly needs feeding.  I'll try to find some water colors, I bought that new set before I left Madison.  Or I'll find my clay.  The least I can do is put more things away and get the sewing room organized.  At least I have my music to keep me company.

Tomorrow is quilters group.  I'm nervous, I said I wasn't going to do anything at all in April, but I guess divine intervention is dragging me out of the house any way.  Put on a smile and a nice skirt and get my act together.  I know it's in there some where

Two Weeks

I guess part of the reason that it feels longer than two weeks is that this house is familiar to me and so I didn't have to get used to it.  The other part of that is that time is just dragging, it feels like forever since I left Madison and headed to a new life.

So every box has at least been identified.  Almost all of them have been unpacked.  I'm buying the paint this week end for the book shelf and I hope to have it ready to put into place in a couple weeks.  I need some sunshine and then I need some good drying time before I put books on the shelves.  I'm so excited to see how it comes out.  I'll need to check my pattern soon and figure out what I am doing for sure.

I didn't get as much done today as I had hoped because I just did way too much yesterday.  The need to find the missing items is great and once I realized there was little hope, I moved all the boxes of books, just to be sure.  But yes, they are all books.  There was no lost sewing room box.  No lost kitchen box.  I am so sad, I woke up crying.  All I can do now is hope that for some reason they are in the storage unit.  I don't see it being at all possible, but I just have to wait it out now until the unit can be inventoried.

So today I moved the cd rack and got all my cds in place.  It doesn't look like it did before, I know I did something different, but it's fine.  I'll change it if I have to.  I emptied two other boxes and part of three other boxes, so things are getting new homes and it's beginning to feel like I can begin work on Monday.   I might even be able to have an art day on Sunday.  Maybe.

Tonight after the usual Friday night fish fry, I came home and started back on the sewing room.  Starting in the corner by the closet (lets ignore that closet for a while), I moved the yarn dresser just a little bit and then finished putting yarn in it, sorting the drawers and supplies.  I cleaned off the top the old sewing machine and set up my serger.... mmmm, no cord.  Now that will be awkward.  I rearranged some of the books on the smaller book shelf to make more room because I don't have shelves for the taller book case.  I feel like I have a good start.  I need to get the thread organized and clean off the top of the other shelf and the sewing machine in time to sit down on Monday.  It's time to move on and get back to work.

Tomorrow I need to set up both desks and get both offices functional, and then on Sunday I need to empty both basement areas to make room to lay flooring and set everything up.  I'm really excited to be this close already and be able to organized my space and my thoughts. 

Monday, or maybe Sunday, will be back to my old schedule.  Routines are good for me and the sooner I re-establish one, the better.  Yoga.  Classes.  Cleaning.  Work.  Eating at the right times.  Sleeping when I want to.  Now to the joy of finishing.  This week end begins that.  I will be finished with the major unpacking and finish sewing together the dragon sweater, and maybe another one or two quick projects that don't need a lot of work. 

Two weeks and moving forward

Mid Week

I am missing so many things that I decided it was time to get the rest of the boxes out of the garage.  Yesterday was shopping day, so today we moved the last 5 mongo boxes inside.  We also brought in one of the shelves that I have left and a desk.  Unfortunately, none of the boxes had the things that I was looking for, so now I have to hope that they were left in the other storage unit.  I did find my thread, which means that I can start my sewing again.  That is going to help so much.

So today I decided that this will be the last week of spending the bulk of my day unpacking.  I need to get back to work before I lose another month and it'll be good to be limiting my sorting and getting things done. 

Finished

Fully engaged

The sewing room is set up enough that I can start a couple of orders and figure out what it is that I need to do to make the room work.  I think we are buying the plywood this week end, so the art room and the wrap and pack will be done.  One hour at a time, each day. 

Back to yoga.  Back to classes.  Back to organizing and cleaning.  Just one hour a day.  The rest of the day will be spent working and I am actually excited to be thinking about projects and working.  Something closer to my old normal.  I am hoping that getting back to what I used to do will make me feel more like home. 

The sunshine today helped so much, but we have storms moving in over the next few days.  I left a couple of things outside that I'll need to move in tomorrow, and I'll have to move all the odd things downstairs tomorrow, but I hope that the rest of the day sorting more of the sewing room and enjoying the part of moving that really is fun.... setting up new space.

On to a new week

Although I got here on Thursday, the first week end here was such a blur that I've already started counting my weeks by Sunday, and so the beginning of my second week, Sunday, I slept late and did nothing most of the day.  I haven't unpacked all of the sewing/knitting supplies yet, and so I couldn't find a needle to sew my dragon sweater together, but not to waste time, I worked on a shawl that I started in the fall.  It is a set of four squares, and I am more than halfway done with the third square.  One more week end on it and that project should be done and I'll have another one marked off. 

Finishing.  One of the words that I chose to work on this year.  Engaged and Finishing.  Both are very difficult for me.  I am more of a hermit and a starter.  Choosing two difficult attributes might be a little much for me, but this is the year of the biggest changes and so it might be a good idea to push the edge.  Go further out.  If you are not living life on the edge, you are taking up too much room.

And so after my day out yesterday, I got started right away this morning.  I guess that sometimes when a project seems overwhelming, walking away from it is the right thing to do, as long as you also go back and work on it soon.  This morning I set my timer for only 30 minutes, and started moving and sorting boxes.  It didn't take long at all to get the space I need to lay down the plywood and rugs.  I've got two spaces set up, almost finished, ready for the end of the unpacking of the boxes and supplies that go in each space. 

Its easier to take the boxes downstairs now that there is room to put them, and as long as there is no basement flooding, I'll be in good shape to just stack the boxes until the rooms are ready to unpack. 

Moving on to the sewing room this afternoon and see if I can find more of the things that I need, moving bins around to make room for shelves, unpacking the big boxes that are still in my living room, finding more space where there is none.  Think vertical.  It will help.  I know I can do this.  Organizing is usually fun for me and I need to just put on my music and get moving.

I discovered Pandora radio and listened to music most of the afternoon yesterday, some songs were old favorites and a few that I had never heard before.  I love listening the lyrics and finding parts of them in my life.  90's pop seems to be my favorite.

I stayed up late last night for a little face time with Megan and the boys.  They are so much fun, running around to find toys to show off and fighting for front and center stage. 

Even after staying up late, I didn't want to shut down.  My kindle needed to be charged so I entertained myself with my DS for a while. 
And then of course I slept the morning away and felt like a slug most of the day.  I wanted to unpack the rest of the hutch and work on the down stairs office, but I just don't have the energy.  I went out to the garage to measure the furniture that I need to move inside, but I couldn't get to any of it, so I opted for crochet and a movie.  Or two.  Maybe even three. 

I did manage to unpack half of two boxes and locate another one that needs attention, but I really do think that some time away from having to deal with finding space is a good idea. 

I can't seem to find anything on TV that I want to watch after the first movie (To Sir, With Love), but I have plenty of DVDs to keep me entertained. 

Even the sun came out for a while today.  What a joy to see.

a storm at sea the bow cracked and I was capsizing
and I sunk below where I swore I would never go
if you can't stand in one place you can't tell there's walking away
from who remain, who stays, who stays, who stays

spare no tears
just pity and fear
and I recall
a push more than the fall
a push more than the fall

On to the week end

It was actually easier to write a post every day when I didn't have internet.  Now that I have other distractions, it is harder to make the time to write. 

The unpacking is going well the last two days, as some of my energy is returning.  I'm glad I took as much down time as I did, and even though I pushed a little bit, I did great yesterday and put in a good four hours today.

Yesterday was sorting the sewing room and moving the bins from here to there, and back in several cases.  There just isn't enough room and I'm going to have to figure out how to create space where there is none.  I did find most of the current projects and today I found my cutting rulers, so it won't be too many more days before I get back to work. 

But I have a pile of boxes that need to go to the basement and I don't want to take anything else down until I get the basement under control.  I put together three sets of shelves, which would have been funny to watch.  The last set was designed by someone with a wicked sense of humor.  Only one injury, so I am counting myself lucky.

I got my winter clothes put away... well at least  most of them, and created a little storage area right next to the laundry room.  My commitment to go through  every box is holding just fine, although some of the things I still don't know what to do with. 

I found a space for my art supplies storage, and that is going to be fun to fill up and organize again.  I didn't do as much in that area as I had intended, but I wanted to spend some time in the downstairs office as well.  With orders coming in, I can't afford to be disorganized for very long.  I need to move the desk from the garage to the basement and get the table put together, and I'll be in business.  I'm ready to list more things as soon as I have checked my current inventory for errors. 

I already have some things for an upcoming garage  sale, if the weather ever warms up.  I'm sure by the end of the month we'll be wanting to get outside and enjoy the sun while we have it. 

The house feels good, although it doesn't feel like mine.  I guess it takes a while to recover from losing your home.  I'm lucky to have this opportunity and I am thankful for a roof and space for my things.  I need to get the rest of my stuff out of storage as soon as I can.  I'll feel better when everything is accounted for.

Off to fix dinner and put on a movie.  I'm thinking a nice hot bubble bath will become my Saturday night ritual.  I love having a house to myself and no one to interrupt my thoughts.  It feel so good right now.  My cats and I will do just fine, and at the same time I am anxious for company.  Of course then I'd have to figure out some kind of sleeping arrangement!

One week ago  I was so totally surrounded by boxes that I couldn't sit in the living room.  Two weeks ago I was holed up tight in one bedroom of a friend's house.  Time to look forward and not back

Thursday

It is hard to believe that I have only been here a week. I got to talk to Antonio and Ruby last night, both of them begging me to come back. Tears on both end of that phone call, and a renewed determination to clean up my credit and go home. This just isn't the right place for me. I need to figure this out.

I started in the office area today and got some laundry going at the same time. I am not quite as tired as I was, but a few trips up and down the stairs took care of that quickly. My leg muscles are hating me and the basement is becoming a little more full than I thought it would.

My main desk on the first floor is almost done. Files are put away and I'm beginning to sort the boxes, getting ready to set up a second desk in the basement for a wrapping station, where I can have everything right at hand for shipping orders. I just need the orders to start coming in.

Wacho continues to mark his territory and the whole house smells just horrible and my anger rises every time I find another spot that he has gotten. A spray bottle of vinegar and some clorox wipes is helping part of the problem but now that the smell is on everything, I can't find a specific spot to clean up.

I'm already tired enough to sleep, and maybe a nap will be in order today. I've gotten a couple of boxes sorted, although I'm not doing so good at getting them empty today. Several have been moved downstairs, that is going to be a whole new project.... resorting all of those boxes into garage sale, toy, wrapping station, art room, bed room and storage.

The internet geek only has another half hour before he is out of his time slot for the repair he is suppose to make to my internet, I really need to be on line. I have other areas that I would rather be working, but I have to stay where I can hear the knock on the door.

I feel a lot more like I need a vacation than anything right now. Maybe when the sun comes out again I'll feel better. I'm not sure.

Wednesday

The pain today is even worse than yesterday, and I am not sure that there is anything I can get done today. I tried to put together one of the shelves, but there are not enough brackets and I had to abandon that project. I have some laundry that needs attention and I am going to try to start moving some of the boxes around in the basement. I need to get a few things done in each room now, and find the rest of the missing items. I am anxious to be done. I need to rest and the need to be finished over whelms my need to rest. My muscles ache to the bone and I just want to sleep.

I allowed my day to start slowly. Feed the cats, make some coffee, take my shower, begin moving just a bit. The aches are overwhelming the desire to do anything and altho I am happy to find boxes where they do not belong, it is hard to move any box from here to there right now. I spent most of the morning on the couch, and most of the afternoon arguing with tech support, hoping to get internet up and running

It is another rainy day. The sun and rain are taking turns, it is as dark as dusk at 3:00 in the afternoon. Another box of books in the art room that really don't belong there. I need to find the shelves for my bedroom and at least get them up. That will give me some space for some of the books. I haven't found my cd's yet. I was, however, thrilled to find all of the shelf brackets and so I can put up shelves in the basement for my art room and storage. I think my "wrapping station" will be down there as well. It would be easier to have the gift closet and the boxes all in one place and this house is not going to allow there to be any other space on the first floor.

By mid afternoon I am moving easier, but I am still quite hesitant to do very much work. I will use up that little bit of energy easily if I am careful, and there are so many boxes that need to go downstairs, and just a few that need to be brought up.

I almost feel tired enough to sleep and an afternoon nap would be a good idea again. I will be glad to get back to a schedule that is closer to something that I would like. Six boxes emptied, another five or six moved. Things are beginning to come together. I feel strongly about getting the kitchen empty and the office area set up, and be able to get back to work. I have rent to pay and bills are beginning to pile up. My loneliness will be good feel to get the work down, the stack of unpaid bills will be a great motivation.

Tuesday

I woke this morning in more pain that I have felt in over a week. I am doing too much and not able to catch up on my rest. A storm last night kept me awake for a while, but the tossing and turning doesn't change.

I've been able to unpack a few boxes this morning, finding some in the sewing room that actually belong somewhere else. It'll help to get those out of the way and deal with just the sewing. I have already found two more boxes of clothes, which means I can put off my laundry for another day or two. I really think I need to do more resting than working today. The aches are just not going away and my muscles feel numb.

The weather was wonderful this afternoon and so I took my book outside and sat in the sun for a while. It was wonderful to relax and let the sun soak into my skin. Knowing that I have the three main rooms in useable shape is good. It takes a lot of the pressure off of me. I slept a good part of the afternoon, fixed a light dinner and watched a bit of TV.

I had a long converstation with Jeremy about Liam and his worries there. I am anxious for news. Megan and I have been keeping in touch daily as we await news of the unrest between North and South Korea, which will affect tourists and families of military in both Korea and Japan, as well as Guam and the other islands nearby. I know that she is hopeful that nothing comes of this, but I am most concerned. It is so long from now that she would be home.

Day Eight/Nine

Sunday morning I woke to Ozzie knocking a cup off my night stand. I had not quite finished the hot chocolate after my bath last night, and now I have a nice mess to get out of the carpet. I guess I was sleeping too late to please her, and it was her way of letting me know that breakfast was late.

I am so sore and beyond tired today. I'll be glad to get a few boxes done. The first one this morning was easy, one of the last boxes packed and so I wandered room to room putting things away as I can. Just a few kitchen items in a box mixed with bathroom and cleaning supplies. I think I need to take an easy day and try harder to just do a box or two. Maybe that bedroom that I had wanted to do last night. I'm not sure that I want to do anything but make my way to my knitting bad and work on the dragon sweater. That would be a good way to spend my Sunday.

I have, oddly enough, discovered that the stress before the move is no better at all after the move. I can't seem to nap, thinking about the things that I need to be doing nd wishing that I had fewer boxes in the kitchen and more work done in the living room. I'll have to wait until it is warm enough outside to paint the big book shelf, but it shouldn't take long once I can decide on a color and get things moving. I'm sure it is going to need some extra drying time before I am able to put books on it, but once that is done that whole corner of the living room will be done.

I did start today on the downstairs rooms. I'm thinking about how to divide the space and create an art room and figuring out my storage and find some beauty in this space that I have left for myself. Soon most of the unpacking will be finished. I'm going to try to concentrate on a room at a time now that I have many of the important things found. Everything will find a place if I let it. I did it before, I my four little rooms, this can't be that much differnt.

I have now spent over three weeks either packing or unpacking, and doing little else. I have not slept a night through for two months. The last week at the house I didn't eat any meals, getting by on snacks and sandwiches. I am exhausted beyond pain, and I am so ready to be done. I have commited to unpacking every single box and bin, but at this point, I am thinking that it may take quite a while to do this. Today I am trying hard to do just one box, all the way through, and then rest. Everything where it belongs. Like with like. Decorating in spring and summer. Finding the parts that I need to put up the shelves for the bedroom and think about which parts I want where. I'm washing dishes and knick knacks as I go, eliminating the dust that gathered and the newspaper that we wrapped everything in.

Wacho began marking his territory last night, and now I am finding scent on everything. I have to find a way to get that stopped quickly. Everything I touch he wants to have his scent on, and the house is already beginning to stink.

The kitchen is almost done, so confusing to find places for every thing and I am sure that I'll be rearranging several times before I am satisfied with the results. It was great to get so many boxes done, but until I find the box that has the supports for the shelves, I can't finish putting the storage items in the basement

Tonight I started the sewing room by removing all the boxes that I can, putting them in the now open living room, so that I can move around the room and unpack a box, putting everything away that i can as i come to it. This and the art room are going to be the hardest. All of my shelves are gone and I'll have to make some alternate storage of some sort.

Early to bed I am just exhausted. The first night that I am truly able to lock the cats out of my room and leave them to find their own places to sleep.

Day Seven

Saturday was a lonely day. No one to help unpack, I just worked my way back and forth between the living room and the kitchen, finding boxes that didn't belong where they were left off. A borrowed TV to watch until the cord to mine shows up. Move some boxes to the back porch as they empty. Move some downstairs until I can decide what to do with them. There are all ready dishes and pans in the kitchen, there isn't much that I need to do. I am taking my time undoing my boxes and thinking about what it is that I actually want.

Moving at the change of the season is interesting. Winter clothes. Spring clothes. Summer clothes. Some in boxes and some in the drawers. Getting used to a new dresser and a larger closet, at least that much helps. The bed sits too low to the floor to allow under the bed bins, and so I need to get used to not having that time of storage.

Everything that was part of my life is no longer part of my life, except my sewing. It will be good when I am able to get started on the sewing room. First the rest of the house, and then dividing the sewing upstairs and the art downstairs. I need to think about how to divide the basement into a couple of rooms and make them comfortable for visitors and work as well.

Finding all the parts to the shelves. Finding all the papers for the file cabinet and the desk. Finding, searching, unpacking, resting. This time I do it all alone, and altho I feel like it has always been like that, this time it is true. I'm not sure how many boxes got done today, but it certainly feels good to have some holes in my walls of boxes and the luxury of sitting on the couch to watch TV tonoight. I even has gotten several boxes of DVD's put away and I can make choices at to what I watch tonight.

I am so tired it is hard to make myself think about how long it is going to take to get everything done. I'm sure it will be weeks before all of the work is done, and then I have to think that there is always much more work to get done.

Tonight maybe another box or two of clothes. One put away, two to empty. Some of my lotions maybe, although I haven't found my basket yet. Move some more boxes. Make this house look like mine. Add my own touches. It will never be mine and this certainly is not my last move. I have to hope that the next one is not as difficult and that I am able to downsize even further and have an easier time both packing and unpacking.

Day Six

It was so hard to get up on Thursday. I got a late start and not much help, so we only got about half of the truck unloaded. The largest pieces of furniture were in place, and because there is already furniture in the house, I didn't bring much. Only the boxes were waiting for us the next day, and with a little more help on Friday, it only took about 3 hours to get the boxes unloaded and placed in the rooms. I have a walk way through each of the rooms and that is all there is. Stacks of boxes and a walkway to the bed. Thank heaven for that. I'm lucky to have a basement to put boxes in to go through later if I get tired of this. Once I find the important things, I will be able to do the rest as I wish.

I actually worked on the bedroom the most after dinner. I got several boxes unloaded and even got to do a little decorating. Two sets of wings are up on my walls, I can't wait to find the rest of them. Megan's black angel wings hang over my head, and Becca's blue butterfly wings are on the opposite wall. It is so nice to add some color to an other wise very classic room. So much heavy wood furniture, it just needs a bit more light. Moving down to a twin bed is getting a little getting used to, but I'm doing fine. The cats are finding all kinds of places to explore and have settled in just fine. So far I've left my bedroom door open at night, and Ozzie has enjoyed sleeping with me every night. Poor Wacho doesn't find much room on the bed, but he is having a great time exploring the windows and watching the other animals in the neighborhood.

Day Five

Tuesday I had the truck loaded and said my good byes to my grand babies and my children. It feels so strange to be leaving, but I really don't have another viable option. Lunch with Billy was wonderful, I wish we'd had more time. I wanted to do more grocery shopping than I did, but there was nothing that I could do about that either. Time just got away from me. I was hoping for an early night so that I could get on the road early, but that didn't really happen either.

Morning came way too early. Finish the last of the packing and get the cats loaded. I was so nervous about them, but they seemed to settle right away. And so Wednesday say me on the road to my new life, the one that was waiting for me. I've learned my lesson about trying to save money with a Budget truck over UHaul. It was awful trying to find diseal fuel and the prices were so high, not to mention that the truck uses so much gas. I'm pretty sure what I saved was used up on that gas and certainly in the discomfort. After 15 hours on the road I was just happy to have a bed to sleep in. Granola bars for dinner and call it a night. Sleep came easy. The cats were so glad to be free of their cages and they had a great time exploring and getting used to our new home. This is all there is for now. I need to understand that. All the way through

Day Four

Monday I began rearranging the things that I had with me, and trying to eliminate a few more things. I wanted to be as organized as possible, it was time to move on. All of the things that I had to take with me and not put in storage needed to be compacted to take up as little room as possible. I sorted the cleaning supplies and and liquor and got rid of everything that I could. I can't stop feeling like this is all a dream, but it is what it is now. A few more phone calls to make and the round of good byes start. Breakfast out was the first one and then I spent the rest of the day shopping, spending all of the gift certificates I had gotten for Christmas before I leave town. It was fun to spend all that money in one day, and I finally found the snowflake forms that I had been wanting to order and had never gotten around to. I think I'm going to have great fun preparing for Christmas. It's time to get busy, making up for the lost time already this year.

Day Three

 

Easter Sunday was no different. A bit of sewing. Check in on the computer. Read. Rest. No phone calls. No invitations. It was just a day like so many others. It was the first Easter that I didn't get to do an egg hunt. No ham dinner. I had tried to have my good bye to the house party the week before, and turn that into our Easter, but not everyone was able to make it. Easter Sunday made me realize even more how alone I am, and I am thankful that I packed so many projects, they have kept my mind from thinking about where I am and how it is that I got here.

Day Two

 

Sleep last night came easy, my body much too tired to fight. I was up early enough, just an extra hour of sleep to begin to make up for the many, many hours that were lost. Saturday it was time to get back to work again, but this time I had a sewing order to finish. Cutting fabric with little space and sewing on a machine that I was unfamiliar with, I began to work through my pile, moving the each one done from one side of the small table to the other, I worked in this way until my headache took over, and I decided to nap the rest of the afternoon. What I thought would be a nice hour nap turned into sleeping most of the afternoon. I tried to go back to my sewing, but I ended up just putting things away for the day and checking in online. I had to count and make sure I would be able to finish the next day, and not leave too many to get done. I had a sandwich for dinner and read for a while, before calling a rather early night and trying to regain some of my energy.

The strangness of the situation is beginning to set in. I feel out of place and off center. I've grown used to traveling, being able to do so more and more over the last few years, but this, of course, is not a trip. This is life on hold, waiting for the next steps. Not really a new chapter. This time life is about writing a new book. I wonder what this book will be about.

Day One

Being homeless, in this way, is more a frame of mind than a place to sleep. After the closing of the house and the extension for cleaning, we went right back to work. We only worked for a little while Thursday night, but I put in another full day on Friday. They guys I hired were hard pressed to put in another day, and so they dovetailed my job with their other obligations. It was hard going, the house was finished, and there was not a lot of word I could do in the yard and garage. I just had to wait. I got someone to take the good will off the front porch for me and that took up a little more time. It left me plenty of time to wander around each room, saying my good byes. I watched my fingers trace over the flowers that we had painted for Selena's nursery. Finally the car was out of the garage, and the yards we finished. I think the guys put in a harder day than I did, even with my emotions running high. We were finished with ten minutes to spare. By the time we got to the new storage unit, we found that they had closed at 2 PM. Here we are, three hours later, with a car and two loads to get into the storage unit. It was pure luck that there was a night man on duty and he was able to make a phone call and get me a storage unit for the last of the load.

Exhausted, I had Cindy take my back to where I was staying and picked up a salad for dinner. I was almost too tired to eat, I forced some food down, took a pain pill and let my body begin to relax. It was a quiet night for me, finally. Finished, I had nothing left to cry over, my tears spent days ago. I put a movie on my computer and finally put my feet up. I was so sore it was impossible to go down the stairs, and so staying in my room was an easy choice