Journal Prompt

The first journal prompt in my book has to do with how you introduce yourself to someone.  What verbs do you use... "I am" or "I work"... and yes, I do that.  I've played around with some other identifying factors, but I seem to always come back to something that I want people to hear. 

Much of how I introduce myself does depend on who my "audience" is, and whether or not they are interested in me or just going through the motions of polite conversation.  There are so many sub-worlds in our lives that our opening conversations must change to fit each of them. 

One program that I was working with encouraged us to perfect our "elevator pitch" and I have yet to do that.  You have only three minutes to sell yourself to the other person, and I've noticed that I am too willing to meld myself to meet another's needs if I can, instead of the other way around.

This leaves me thinking about the directions that I would like to go in the coming year.  The changes in the past few years have been very difficult, and yet change is what I was searching for just a few years ago.  Learning the hard lesson of be careful what you ask for, I have learned to phrase my needs much more clearly and to the point.  Choosing a word of the year has been an enlightening experience for me, and I have learned a lot about my self.  You don't always get what you want right away, or in the way you think you want it, but you do get the lessons you need to learn.  I have achieved the focus that I wanted years ago, and now I need to narrow that focus just a bit more, concentrate on "finishing" as I had hoped I would learn (was that the word from 4 or 5 years ago?).  I have learned to be "efficient", and then "effective and efficient", as busy work is just that.... busy work.  Unless it is getting you somewhere, it is useless.  

I'm not sure what other words I picked in the past, and this post has deviated so far from the prompt, but it all goes back to the "who" of who am I. 
I am a fiber artist, engaging in exploration of needle arts and fine garment construction.  I am a friend, mother, grandmother, sister, cousin.  I am a city girl in search of culture, fine arts and wonderful food experiences. 

Now how is that for an introduction?   It just might hold up for the year.  I guess we'll see

I wanna leave my footprints on the sands of time
Know there was something that, and something that I left behind
When I leave this world, I'll leave no regrets
Leave something to remember, so they won't forget

I was here
I lived, I loved
I was here
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here

I want to say I lived each day, until I die
And know that I meant something in, somebody's life
The hearts I have touched, will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference, and this world will see

I was here
I lived, I loved
I was here
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be

I will leave my mark so everyone will know

I was here
I lived, I loved
I was here
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here

I just want them to know
That I gave my all, did my best
Brought someone to hapiness
Left this world a little better just because

I was here

I was here
I lived, I loved
I was here
I did, I've done, everything that I wanted
And it was more than I thought it would be
I will leave my mark so everyone will know
I was here x2

Just Day by Day

I haven't written since I got home from my sister's house in October.  I guess there has been not a lot remarkable going on.  Just a few highlights and mostly day to day stuff.  I am back to the cycle of cleaning, decluttering, rearranging, throwing out, listing on free cycle, sewing, knitting, reading.... it is all just as it was, just as it should be
I really enjoy my house as it is.  Things are looking okay.  There is always much work to be done and in a house of this age and size, there always will be.  I am looking forward to moving, but I know the heartache of leaving here is going to be deep and unrecoverable.  There have just been so many things, people and items, that I have lost over the last few years that I feel like I can't risk any more. 
But I do have to move on.  I need the financial freedom, such as it is, that selling this house will give me.  I need to find a place that is only mine and find out who that person is that is trying to come out of the person that I am now.
And so for now, I clean, declutter, move furniture.... bringing the file cabinet to the office was an amazing choice that I didn't count on.  I really just wanted to expand my filing system and instead I actually created an office.  Moving that horrible beast up the stairs and then arguing with the drawers for over an hour, but poof, there it is.  A room that was questionable is now fully an office and with three empty drawers to play with, I can file notes on anything and everything that I want to, all in one place. 
In doing this and moving some things in the sitting room, I was able to get rid of a lamp and a small table.  Actually two tables went out this week, and boxes ready for good will, things that were never claimed and have no future home here.
It feels really good, every time I complete a task of organization.  I know that someday I will finally be done, but for now, this is what gets me up in the morning and keeps me moving through the days.  The beast of clutter will be conquered!

Ahhhh, The Draw of the Old

There is a great "Antique Mall" here in town, but my sister's friend knew of another one that was in a town just a few miles from here, three floors of treasures to go through, so off we went, searching for what ever it was that we couldn't live without.
I keep running into these sets of beautiful dishes, in all colors and styles.  I'm not sure about the term "depression glass", so I don't really know anything about these, but I do know that I want a set in every color.  I found these two in Hornel:

I also found this amazing bed frame, and I know just the person that is going to want it for their bedroom.  Isn't it great?

These are the dishes that got to go home with me, or at least to my sister's house for a while.  She is going to store them for me until I can figure out what my next move is going to be.

I also scored a pair of kid leather riding gloves and a button hook, because you know you just might need a button hook.  For $2.00, I couldn't leave it behind.

 

A great pair of earrings finished the "for me" part of the shopping for the day.  So much for not spending any money!  Shame on me!

Wings

I've been doing so much decluttering, finding things that I had forgotten I even had.  Old pictures.  Strange mementos from  the past, such as my parents 1961 tax return.  We've had a really good time going through things and posting them as we can. 

And then tonight Becca found a commercial from the olympics in 1998, a poem that I just loved.  We learned it in sign language, and I printed it out in calligraphy for my wall, but I never knew who wrote it. 

This poem has become sort of a mantra of mine over the years.  "I say you do have wings.  The question is, where are you hiding them"

Wings.  I love wings.  When I finally get to move, I think I will do one whole wall in over lapping wings.  Just for me.  I'm not hiding them.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWKGMYsl7sc&feature=share

I'm having a lot of trouble getting my morning and night routines back in place.  I am lucky that I have so much sewing to do that I have an afternoon that pretty much runs itself, but the other two parts of the day, I just don't have that luck.

And now that Dan has to leave much before he thought he would, I am looking at the list of things that still have to be done and feeling rather stressed.

I need to find a storage unit and  start getting things moved, and do so rather quickly.  I'm setting aside the things that need to go to my sister's house, I should be able to take them later in September.  With any luck, some of the work will still get done before Dan leaves and I won't be left with all it to do myself, just as I did my last two moves.  At least this time my children are old enough to help and I've got a few friends that are lending hands.

So the price goes down and the work load goes up.  I need to get ready for this.  Change is in the wind!

I've had no interest in the house for weeks now.  My realtor wants me to lower my price and I guess I'm just not ready to do that. 

My summer job is ending soon and all the money that was supposed to go to fixing up the house has gone to catching up the utility bills and that still isn't done.  I did buy 4 of the smoke alarms that I need, and two of the ceiling fans... altho I am second guessing that decision if I have to lower my price....

At the same time, the longer I am here, paying this high mortgage, the more money I feel like I am wasting.  I have leads on two apartments, so if things work out with the timing, I'll be fine.  I guess I should start checking on that and see what I can do.

Susie wants me to come out and stay with her as soon as I am free and with Bob getting worse by the day, I am sure she is going to need the support.  I haven't really made the decision yet.  I have an urge to go west  before I go east, but we'll see what happens

All I know right now is that after the best month ever, the slow August is depressing me.  Each check from Rachel is smaller than the last and I only have two outstanding orders on my board.  At least my students each week give me living money, but after that, I'll be dead in the water, so to speak.

I need this house to sell, Dan to leave and life to move on so I can heal and become whole and face a brighter future than the one I have in front of me right now.  I know it can be done

So mote it be